Dorothy Richmond is founder of the Dear Neighbor column and a longtime resident of Cedar-Isles-Dean.
Dear Neighbor,
Happy New Year! Looking for a resolution? Well, I have one for you, one that everyone, even the most stalwart resolution breakers, can keep. I say this because if I can keep it (and I have for this entire year), you can, too. And it will improve your life.
I did not choose this resolution or read about it anywhere. It came to me organically. Last New Year’s Eve, I went to a party and was met with an offer. One of those propositions that, in the moment, appears tantalizing but not without risk or demanding consideration. In these situations, the devil sits on one shoulder screaming, “Go for it, Dorothy,” followed by a chorus of FOMOs and YOLOs and other justifications for behavior usually filed under madness.
On the other shoulder rested an angel whispering a simple caveat: “You will hate yourself in the morning.” I listened to the angel and went home.
On my desk sat my already prepared to-do list (henceforth referred to as “List”) for the next day, Jan. 1. I added “Wake up happy” and went to bed. In the morning, grateful for my decision, I checked off “Wake up happy” with a smile.
Later that day, there was a brunch I did not want to attend. I was partied and peopled out. It was piercingly cold. But I had said I would be there and knew the hosts, good friends, would be disappointed if I did not show. My fireplace (the devil’s inferno) beckoned, and all I wanted was to curl up with a book by the flames. Again, I listened to the angel, got ready, drove to the suburbs, and you know what? I had a blast.
I stayed far longer than planned and drove home happy. I walked straight to my not-evenbegun List for the next day and wrote “Wake up happy,” knowing I would.
That is when I decided to add “Wake up happy” to my List every day, truncated to “WUH 😁!” If anyone ever saw my List, they would have no clue what any of it meant. Honed over years of daily list-making, nearly every item (there are usually 25–30) is written in code only I can crack. I love and live by my List — it gets me out of bed each morning. There is always something to do.
But I digress.
WUH 😁! is the only New Year’s resolution I have ever kept because it is easy and requires only conscious intention. Every day, we face both temptation and dread. There is something that looks fun, like diving into a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies, that will bring regret the next morning, or something that feels heavy, like calling customer service, that brings relief and even joy once the endless hold music and (finally!) conversation are over.
Over a year of waking up happy, I have learned that doing what I do not want to do far outweighs not doing what I am tempted to do. When I cross off WUH 😁! each morning, I reflect on what brought me happiness the day before. It is a nudge, a mini gratitude journal, and a pat on the back all rolled into one.
Even when I am in a funk, there is always some small thing that can lift my spirits or spark pride for having done, or not done, something. It does not have to be a grand event or gesture. Often, it is catching up with an old friend or doing something kind for someone else.
I hit a rough patch in late August, when it was hard to get out of bed, much less feel happy. One morning, I stared at WUH 😁!, unable to think of a single thing to celebrate. Then I realized that simply slogging through the previous day, without succumbing to the wretchedness that enveloped me, was something to be happy about. In the spirit of “this, too, shall pass,” it meant I was one day closer to feeling better. I crossed it off.
The beauty of this yearlong practice is that it is one day at a time. Eventually, it gets inside you, becoming a quiet barometer for moving in a positive direction. It has changed and improved my life.
There is a good chance you already do, or do not do, something each day that is worth being happy about. The key is recognizing it. You, too, can wake up happy. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
— Dorothy
