Dear Neighbor,
It’s July. It’s summer. It’s hot. It’s time for hotdogs!
The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council estimates that Americans consume 20 billion hot dogs each year (70 hot dogs per person).
Thanks to Upton Sinclair, whose book “The Jungle” (1906) exposed the appalling conditions of the meatpacking industry and resulted quickly in the establishment of the Meat Inspection Act, we can relax. So, don’t get on your high horse about hotdogs harboring horse meat, sawdust, ground-up worms, dog and rat parts (which a whopping 43% of Americans still believe — so, who’s eating those 20 billion hotdogs? I am, and I guess maybe you are, too).
According to the National Library of Medicine, the correct term is hotdog: one word. “Hot dog” refers to a canine in heat. While many sources like the tony magazine "Bon Appétit" and the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (and our copy editors) beg to differ, I am going with "hotdog."
For the record, a hotdog without beef or poultry cannot be called a hotdog. For vegetarians, the term is “meat-free sausage roll,” and vegans can feast on “carrot dogs” (Lizzo is a fan).
Hotdogs were one of the first foods eaten on the moon. Who knew that NASA’s C-Suite had foodies?
I love hot dogs, especially in the summer.
Burgers are fine the rest of the year, but no Michelin any-star restaurant can compete with a grilled hotdog, which pairs nicely with Old Dutch Rip-L Potato Chips, baked beans, coleslaw, and any beverage except coffee. If I were to get married again, I’d have the reception catered by Five Guys.
On June 11, 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt served hotdogs to King George VI and Queen Elizabeth (the “Queen Mum”). King George ate two, off a paper plate, and drank beer. The Queen asked Roosevelt how a hotdog ought to be eaten. He replied, “Very simple. Push it into your mouth and keep pushing it until it is all gone.” She dined on hers with a knife and fork.
For me, the real king is Joey Chestnut, the current hotdog-eating champion, who set a new world record by eating 76 hotdogs in ten minutes (buns included!) at Nathan’s annual Coney Island hotdog-eating contest in 2021. I’d feast on hotdogs with him any day.
Late Breaking News
Joey Chestnut was just banned from entering this year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for endorsing the brand “Impossible Foods,” which sells plant-based meatless products. We are judged — and in this case, paid — by the company we keep.
Recently my friends, Abby and Eddie, had a dinner party. When the invitation came in, promising grilled hot dogs (my mating call), the only possible response was: Yes!
After dinner, while lesser diners might play Pictionary, Charades or Mad Libs, one of the guests, Claire, held court with a hotdog trivia contest. I won and now possess a silver-plated hotdog sculpture which sits proudly on my kitchen’s windowsill. Meryl Streep has Oscars? I have an Oscar Mayer. The hotdog bun was invented to prevent consumers from burning their hands. That answers the chicken/egg question.
Mickey Mouse’s first on-screen word was “Hotdog!”
“Hotdogs are meant to be enjoyed, not weaponized,” ESPN stated after a fan threw a hotdog at Tiger Woods. They went on to report that Tiger Woods was “not in any danger” and that the fan just wanted to get in the news. The tournament’s director would not disclose the name of the quickly subdued and taken-into-custody hotdog hurler, saying simply, “He’s just an idiot.”
My neighbors and dear friends, Mark and Janice, are legendary party-givers. For years they hosted Super Bowl gatherings. One year I walked in and, Behold! There was a newly purchased Hot Dogger in the kitchen, just like the ones at Speedway. My mothership had called me home: I grabbed tongs and took over. It was the best Super Bowl I didn’t watch. Their Hot Dogger moves to the front yard on Halloween, and I’m on it preparing and serving countless hotdogs to neighborhood kids and adults — when bliss, passion and goodwill conflate.
In 2023, “Bon Appétit” held a blind taste test for Best Hot Dog. The unanimous winner was Nathan’s (of Joey Chestnut fame and glory). I would have loved to be on that panel but clearly would be that holdout juror by voting for Hebrew National Beef Franks.
Hotdogs — beefy or veggie — aren’t just delicious. They’re fun. They’re communal and, like all great equalizers, bring everyone together. You can doll one up any way you like but, at its base, it’s still a hotdog.
If I were Secretary of State, I’d have hotdogs served at every joint meeting between adversaries. I like to think this would put an end to all world wars. Like different cultures and points of view, we’re all still human.
